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From Episode 510 -Take Back Your Marriage
Who Owns Your Marriage – You or Your Kids
It’s easy to find reasons why your kids’ needs are front and center, but if you neglect your spouse in the process of parenting, you won’t be doing your kids any favors. If you read these statements and answer “yes” more than three times, you’re giving away your married life to your kids and should work to set up boundaries to get back to life with your mate.
- Five nights out of seven, your preadolescent kids go to bed whenever they want, and it’s usually well after 9:00 p. m.
- When you’ve finally found a moment with your spouse, even if it is in the care on the way to the soccer match, your kids invariably ask you to turn up the music, give them a juice box, or demand to hear about the latest video game, and you find it easier to listen than to ask them to wait until you’re done talking with your spouse.
- You haven’t had a night out alone together in a month – and you can’t even remember the last one before that.
- The lock on the bedroom door is growing rusty with disuse.
- Your down time as a couple is always family time, for example, spent watching a Disney video with the kids instead of listening to jazz on the deck while the kids watch the movie indoors.
- When the choice at the moment is between talking to your spouse about his or her day, or playing ball with your kids, and you almost always choose the kids.
- When You’ve finally finished driving the kids to violin lessons and swim practice and have completed that science project you just found out was due tomorrow and your spouse wants to sit down and relax with you, you just can’t resist folding Johnny’s laundry or working on building Tanya’s dollhouse “while we talk”.
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